saucefactory:

flutter-owl:

saucefactory:

shealpha:

I nominate this as BEST FIGHT SCENE

I NOMINATE THIS AS BEST SEX SCENE

In which Derek has become a vending machine that WON’T PUT OUT.

HE’S STILL TRAUMATIZED BECAUSE OF HIS TRAGIC PAST IN WHICH A TWISTED WOMAN HAD ONCE STUCK HER HANDS INTO HIS ORIFICES AND HAD STOLEN ALL HIS SNICKERS BARS

I MEAN, SHE’D JUST

RIPPED THEM OUT

ALL THOSE POOR WIDDLE SNICKERS BARS

AND THEN SHE’D SET FIRE TO THE BUILDING (SHE’D BEEN AN ARSONIST) AND THE REST OF DEREK’S VENDING-MACHINE FAMILY HAD DIED

DIED IN SHRIEKS OF SCREECHING, BURNING METAL

AND BLACKENED CHOCOLATE WRAPPERS

WHICH IS WHY

DEREK IS NOW A TALL, MUSCULAR, ANGSTY VENDING MACHINE

THAT IS STUBBORN

AND SOLITARY

AND WON’T PUT OUT

EVEN THOUGH IT’S DIFFICULT NOT TO, UH, EJACULATE FIZZY SPORTS DRINKS

WHEN BEING HUMPED

SHAMELESSLY

BY SPAZZY TEENAGE BOYS

Saucery

Saucery no

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